Black beauty
by ineverdreamed
Summary: Damon promised himself that he'll bring Bonnie back, and he did. But for what price? ' Nothing happened between us on The Other Side. We were friends, we brought each other back, and now I'm gone. You miss me, but... you live on, because deep down, in your heart, you know that I'm always with you. '
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey there (:**

**I don't really know where this idea came from, but I wanted to write it down. ****AU. No Delena. ****Rated M for... love?**

**PS. Since at last I decided to add a chapter or two, I rewrote this one, changed a few things. So, yes, I will continue the story, I'm just not sure when. **

**For now, thank you to all the wonderful readers and their support. Your words mean so much to me. A few such warm and encouraging comments is better than a hundred.**

**Until soon XOXO**

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><p>He didn't remember much from his human life. His memories were just brief flashes; faded images of endless, green fields, through which he used to run with Stefan as a little boy, until the sun began to set and gild the sky. His mother's eyes, blue and deep as an ocean, looking down at him warmly while she told him bedtime stories. The smell of strawberries and fresh, baked pie... Christmas lights twinkling in the night, like stars of different hues, coming from different galaxies.<p>

And Katherine, of course. His key to the door of immortality. He had opened them unwillingly back then, lacking in reason, driven by nothing but a sudden lust for the very thing that made him what he was. Blood.

There was no road ahead of him, just a bridge and an empty abyss underneath, a black hole that he kept on falling into.

Coming back to the place where it all began had indeed killed him, in many ways; yet he never considered it a mistake. On the contrary, actually. Because it gave him something worth fighting for, helped him learn to build his own road upon the solid bricks of his humanity and everyone tied down to it. Stefan, Elena, Alaric.

Bonnie...

He remembered how she held his hand as they drifted into oblivion, together, staring ahead whilst the world as they knew it started falling apart around them. She was always strong and courageous, like a dragon fighter, warm as sunlight, and the combination made her grow even taller in his eyes. He had clearly underestimated her when they first met and many times after that, blinded by a desperate anger, a need to steal Katherine back into his arms, where he thought she belonged.

He couldn't have been more wrong.

So many years wasted; so much damage that couldn't be undone.

Maybe that was one of the reasons why greeting death permanently that night felt so oddly peaceful. He had lived in chaos all his life, carrying misery deep inside, infecting others with it through the rough bites he left in his wake. Those metaphorical and those literal.

His mind seemed to be more than tired after the hurricanes it went through, his heart riddled and yearning for a break.

It all made death easy. Simple. And with Bonnie's fingers knotted through his, it almost felt _good_, a kind of relief that he could not ever find before, no matter how frantically he searched for it through the dark.

Life, on the other hand, was a completely different matter. More complex. He couldn't deny though, despite everything, coming back to it after months would have made him happy; he had a lot of time to think, to grow, to _heal_ in this strange purgatory resembling Mystic Falls. And he missed his brother. He missed their whole crew.

But he was never planning on returning to Falls alone.

He had been _furious_ with Bonnie for sending him away like that, freaking out about what Kai could do to her, and he acted on making her rejoin the world of the living very quickly. He succeeded, of course; and it's been three years since then...

It all brought him here, back to her doorstep. Like it always did.

The nervousness inside his chest spilled, flooding him hotly. She has bloomed into a wild rose over the time, her tender features sharpened.

Standing outside among the falling snow, in the dark and cold, he watched her laugh from behind the smooth glass of the window. She was wearing a tight, blue sweater and white jeans, talking on the phone to Jeremy, if Damon had heard her correctly.

Which he had.

Her hair has grown back into its curls, black satin all around her face. He couldn't wait to smell her.

He entered the house quietly, slowly; there was no need for an invitation, because he got one those three summers ago. His heart pounded hard against his ribs as he made his way towards her, and he thought it was so ironic how he was once sure that this very organ inside him was utterly lifeless.

It was anything but.

He moved through the corridors leading to the living room blindly, with the ease of the predator that he has been for so long. The place was exactly as he remembered it; a perfect picture of a loving home, bright and cozy, with framed pictures and paintings hanging on the walls. Absolutely nothing changed.

He stopped in the doorway, waiting for Bonnie to finish her conversation. And it looked like he wasn't going to wait long. Bathed in the flickering candlelight, she was leaning against the wall, telling Jeremy that she was tired. There was a Christmas tree standing in the corner of the room, already dressed and glowing brightly even though it was only the beginning of December.

Damon took a few more steps towards her, just as softly as before, letting his eyes roam over each curve of her body.

She must have heard - or sensed - someone standing behind her, because she froze all of sudden, stilling like a statue. Before she had the time to get frightened, he wrapped his arms around her, pressing her back against his chest. She fit into him perfectly, like a missing puzzle piece, so small and so _warm_.

Her breath hitched; her heartbeat drummed like thunder in his ears. She reached out to touch his hand, very gingerly, as though she wasn't sure if he was real.

'' Damon...? ''

He closed her curious fingers in his own hand, leaning his chin on her shoulder. He could hear her voice shake and it made him want to run away. This was selfish.

But he has been going on without her for too long and he needed her. He could change many things, but not that.

'' Good morning, '' he said softly.

She laughed through her tears. Hey, it _was_ practically morning, since midnight had passed.

One way or another, that didn't matter now.

He inhaled her deeply, as deeply as he could, right into his veins. Just like he remembered, she smelled of everything and anything that was _home_. Summer and daisies and her favorite perfume.

She turned in his arms to face him, cautiously, as if not wanting to shatter an illusion. Her hazel eyes drank him in with wonder, inch by inch. It made his heart swell painfully, sweetly. Proudly. Desire raged through him with the power of a tornado.

He leaned in to kiss her first, but it was her who closed the distance between them, abruptly, pressing her hands onto his cold cheeks and her mouth to his. She kissed him with all she had - the anger, the pain, the joy, the _love_. It felt like a dream. He twisted and turned his head in a burning rhythm that they created, holding her close; his hands lingering on her waist, squeezing it, his tongue rubbing thoughts and feelings into hers.

He was already on fire, his shirt too hot and uncomfortable, his jeans way too tight. In these short moments, he knew it was worth it. Everything he did to bring her back, in the end, it was worth it.

But it couldn't go on forever.

First, though, before he said goodbye, he just wanted that last night. At least a night.

It wasn't long before she pushed him onto the couch, straddling him, kissing and touching every piece of the skin that she revealed by getting rid of his clothing. And he could do nothing but watch her and mirror the movements, worshiping her, shivering and groaning into her ear.

They somehow ended up on the floor. It didn't matter.

When they made love, he felt beautifully whole. His movements were slow and firm, his mouth restless against her own, and she pulled on his dark hair harder and harder, but he didn't mind. In fact, he could barely feel it anymore; pleasure had overwhelmed his being and all he really wanted was to stay like this. For ever. She was his shelter, in every way.

He saw stars when it was over. But then, didn't he always? Not bothering to move, he let his head fall into the crook of her neck and his thighs remain in between hers. By the fireplace and under the blanket, they were warm, there was no need to rush. He felt too tired to let her go out of his embrace, so locked in each other they stayed, until finally they fell asleep.

Damon wasn't meant to. He had actually wasted hours for something as silly as_ sleeping_ while he could have talked to her. But luck seemed to be on his side, because he woke up quite early, missing the heat of another body next to his.

Perhaps that was exactly what had startled him out of his slumber. The chill of her absence.

A sweet scent floated in the air, a reminder of the past that he wished so badly he could crawl back into. Dressed up and clean, he found Bonnie making pancakes in the kitchen. A sad smile crept onto his face. She did that for him every single year.

'' Thought you hated those, '' he said, as he always did, enveloping her in his arms.

She looked so exquisite, so carefree, dancing around in a shirt and boxer briefs. No make up, no jewelry, just pure Bonnie. Like an angel in human skin.

He vaguely noticed her turning the cooker off before she leaned into him, smiling.

'' But I love you more, '' she said, rubbing her nose along the curve of his neck.

His eyelids fell down for a minute. He closed her up in his embrace, holding on to the moment with all he had. But not for long, never for too long. It was almost one in the afternoon. He was running out of time.

'' Bonnie, we need to talk. ''

For a minute, she didn't answer. And he was afraid to speak, so he didn't. The silence was too fragile.

When she finally looked up at him from under her long lashes, keeping her arms locked around his waist, she stood up on her toes and kissed him softly.

He relished in the warmth seeping through him in that moment, in the freedom. He could practically taste her love.

When his eyes opened, lazily, he found her unbuttoning her shirt. The sight made his stomach already bubble with heat, his eyes were hungry for more - all of him was _starving_ for more - but he refused to let the desire take over. No, he could never get enough of her, especially after they've been parted for so long. But now was not the time.

'' Bonnie - '' he began in a protest, but she only pressed her finger to his lips. He could see fear in her eyes; she knew where this was going.

'' Please, '' she whispered. '' Whatever you have to say, say it after. ''

He studied her face, then, at last, lifted her gently by the thighs to sit her on the marble counter. He couldn't have stopped himself even if he still wanted to.

Oh, well.

He let himself get lost in everything that she was again, running his tongue across her neck as he showered it tenderly with kisses. He could feel her unbutton his jeans, then slide them down until they pooled around his ankles. He could hear the heaviness of her breath mingled with his, he could feel it caressing his skin.

This was yin and yang, hardness and softness, two halves merging into one. He moved in and out of her just as lovingly as yesterday, but faster, because this was goodbye and he was desperate.

He shuddered when he came, and she was right there with him, digging her nails into his back until it bled. It was a beautiful kind of pain.

He buried his head in her chest and stayed like that, for a minute, or two... or three. He wasn't sure. Time seemed to be stretching into eternity, but passing by with the speed of lighting at once, unkind and enigmatic.

Without even bothering to zip up properly or catch his breath, he went to stand in between her legs again, rubbing her thighs soothingly with his fingers.

'' Are you on vervain? ''

Bonnie shook her head, dropping a kiss onto his nose.

'' No. Why? Did you want to...? ''

That was a part of the deal. Bonnie wouldn't get her powers back; instead, she'd live like a normal human being. But she couldn't be that if she tried. She was far from ordinary.

Damon felt confused at first, and then it dawned on him. She thought he had wanted to bite her.

He didn't answer. His mouth opened, but his throat was void of any echo. There must have been something in his expression, something in his eyes, because the light on her face dimmed slowly. Her smile died. She closed her eyes, hiding, wrapping herself around him.

'' Bonnie? '' He questioned gently, moving his hands from her thighs to caress her back instead. He approached her like a child, frightened again, not sure if by then she knew the truth or not.

'' I don't want to see you go, '' she said into his shoulder. The words were barely audible, a broken mumble into his skin.

Biting on his lip anxiously, Damon replied with the only honest thing he was able to think of.

'' You won't... I promise. ''

Reluctantly, Bonnie lifted her head, but her eyes remained closed. He could see a tear flowing down her cheek, yet a tentative smile was beginning to blossom on her face weakly. Reassuringly, even as she sniffed.

'' Promise? ''

He could feel a lump rise in his throat, but he swallowed it, putting a smile onto his face, too.

The smile was anything but happy.

'' I promise. ''

Her eyes opened lazily. Before his will crumbled into dust, he trapped her chin in between his fingertips.

And suddenly, those wide eyes of hers went blank.

'' That's why you're going to forget this happened, '' he said quietly. He wiped the new tears that fell down her cheeks with his free hand away.

She must have seen it coming, somehow, in some way. She always did. Perhaps there were things that one's heart could not forget, no matter what the circumstances. And ever since they came back, that was all he's ever been doing. Showing up two or three times a year, then disappearing.

They'd be happy for a few hours, then he'd lie through his teeth and compel her to forget that she ever saw him - making her think he called instead, because he couldn't visit. Telling her that he _ had to_ go away, but he would be back, because he loved her very much and she knew that. The fact that she moved out of Mystic Falls helped, too. A lot. No one was around to question anything.

The first time when he compelled her, she had been crying as well, even in the numb state of being under his power. Just like now. He hated it. Abhorred it.

He wrapped one of her curls around his finger fondly, and inched his mouth to her ear.

'' I was never here, '' he whispered.

This time, it had to be different. He would take it all away.

'' Nothing happened between us on The Other Side. We were friends, we brought each other back, and now I'm gone. You miss me, but... you live on, because deep down, in your heart, you know that I'm always with you. ''

When he looked at her again, there was no more tears. Just rivers on her cheeks that they made before, as they fell, drying slowly.

'' Think about giving Jeremy another chance. He makes you happy. ''

These words.

He could have staked himself, it wouldn't hurt as much.

But there was no other option, at least not today. The traveler who helped him bring her back to life had made himself clear.

Damon was _never_ the one for rules, and he would be damned if he let anyone boss him around and destroy his life. But at the moment, he was trapped in between four stone walls, with no weapons or knowledge that could be useful for self defense.

And the rules were clear. His body for the life of Bonnie Bennett. Maximum three visits a year.

It was obvious that he wasn't going to choose himself. But dragging it on, keeping her waiting... it was pointless, cruel, and he wasn't going to. Not anymore.

In the meantime, Stefan was probably playing the white knight, trying to find a way to save his brother, looking for another knife. But would he find it? Damon didn't think so anymore.

Leaving a feathery, bittersweet kiss on Bonnie's forehead, he could feel numbness take over his body like a toxin. Paralyzing him from head to toe. He was gone within a second, out of her house, out of her life, back to the hole he crawled out of to see her.

This time, for good.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Inspiration struck me out of nowhere.**

**This is just a bunch of flashbacks. Memories. Either way. **

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><p>In the silence, Bonnie could hear nothing but the frantic pounding of her heart. Irritation was running through her veins, untamed and hot; she had already lost count of how many days exactly her and Damon have been locked away together in this empty town.<p>

But the number didn't matter, anyway. She didn't need the calendar to know that it was _way too long_.

With a frustrated growl, she jumped on his back, instinctively wrapping her legs around his waist, holding on to him for dear life. She stretched her hand out as far as she could, trying to steal her book back from him, yet he moved it out of her reach slyly, struggling.

Struggling to not let her fall and to get her off him at once.

Without thinking, she sunk her teeth into his shoulder; hard enough to make his knees buckle, but not enough to make him bleed. He grunted, yet still kept the book firmly away from her, moving clumsily towards the couch.

Looked like he wanted to drop her on it.

She tightened her koala grip on him, ignoring the ache in her muscles.

'' Keep your teeth to yourself, or I might just join the game, '' he snapped. His voice was danger and menace, sending a wave of chills down her spine.

'' You wouldn't... '' she said, narrowing her eyes.

He stopped in front of the couch, turning his head to look at her from the corner of his eye.

'' Want to bet? '' He whispered, smirking.

A small part of her remembered how feral he could be. A bigger part of her has gotten to see the softer side of him, learned to trust him and care for him. In a weird way.

So, she bit into his shoulder again. He had her pinned down to the couch in less than two seconds, his body hovering above her, his eyes glinting like the ones of a cat in the moonlight.

It was so unfair; she didn't have her powers, and he took advantage of it all the time.

She shot him a dark look, then focused her eyes on something else, avoiding his gaze altogether.

He laughed, touching her chin lightly with his fingertips. '' Mm, you're so cute. Unfortunately, you're going to have to do better than that. ''

'' You're such an ass, '' she muttered.

Why did he always have to get on her nerves like that?

She had just been reading quietly in the corner, when she sensed a presence behind her. It turned out to be Damon, of course ( who else? ) trying to take a peek at what story got her so hooked. She honestly tried to get rid of him politely at first, because his eyes on her and the text were unnerving; but he snatched the novel from her hands and started reading it aloud, teasing her because of the romance involved.

All this led to the present moment.

'' Thanks, '' Damon murmured.

She had not expected him to get up and give her space to breathe her own air, or hand her the novel back, or leave a kiss on her cheek.

He did.

* * *

><p>'' Damon? ''<p>

Even though she couldn't see him in the darkness, she could definitely _hear_ him. His even breathing. His sigh.

'' Go away. ''

She ignored his wish, because she knew that he didn't mean it; she knew that he meant the opposite.

As her sight adjusted to the murk, she made her way over to the bed slowly. Cautiously. After all, who knew if empty bottles of Bourbon weren't laying all over the floor?

The mattress dipped lightly under her weight. Damon was resting on it in his clothes, above the sheets, his back facing her, his eyes set on the wall. It has been a week since she found out about what he had done to Zachary's pregnant wife.

Every night, he went to bed early without a word. Bonnie knew that he must have seen something in the way she looked at him that day; but she couldn't hide it. This swirl of emotions deep inside her, mingled with care, was horrifying. He had acted like a monster. Did that make him one?

Months ago, she would have said yes. Now, it was different.

Did that make her a monster, too? At first, she didn't know how to talk to him, or even if she wanted to. But at the very moment, as she laid down beside him, nothing really mattered except for his warmth.

She wanted to take it, and share her own. The last few days were silent, lonely. Too silent.

Too lonely.

Therefore, without any further ado, she wrapped her arms around him. He froze, tensed up, in surprise probably; she could feel it. She could feel her stomach flipping as well, but she didn't move. What was the worse he could do? Push her away.

It was a silent comfort, build upon the bond that was born between them long ago and intensified lately. As a girl, a young witch, she thought that she could use her powers to punish the sinners and bring justice to this insane world. Now, as a woman, she understood that darkness could not drive out darkness; the only way to do that was to bring in some light.

She pressed her nose into his neck. The smell of his skin was calming, familiar; all the same, she was nervous, embarrassed even. But Damon closed her hands in his, melting into her. She could have fallen asleep right away, if not for how foreign it felt to have him so close to her, the weight of his body, the warmth of his hands... if not for the sudden move he made, turning to face her.

Bonnie didn't know what to think, and it turned out that she didn't have to think at all. He tucked her in, wrapping her up in his arms instead, pulling her as close as possible, soundly. It was awkward, but beautiful, and she responded instantly to the hug, in awe of just how much her heart was swelling with emotion.

It must have been because she hasn't felt that kind of physical closeness with someone for _months_; or something like that. Damon and her bantered a lot. And sure, he threw her over his shoulder, kept his arm around her as she read at times - they touched all the time, innocently, in unconscious gestures, but it was never like that.

Not until tonight.

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><p>A soft murmur lingered in her ear.<p>

'' Focus, Bonnie. Focus. ''

She took a deep breath and opened her eyes. Her magic was back, buzzing in her veins, filling her up sweetly; but it was difficult to learn how to control it all over again. It seemed wilder than before, especially here, now, in this odd prison resembling their home.

Damon's mouth touching her ear wasn't helping either.

'' Now, please try not to murder me. ''

Easier said than done. Bonnie raised her hand upwards, waiting. Her lesson? Self defense. Her task? To catch the arrow and shove it away before it hit her. Naturally, Damon wasn't worried about _ her_; every time she failed previously, he had been there in a flash, catching the object in his hand. The problem was that her magic was in motion, and while it mightn't have worked correctly, it still did in some way. Sometimes, he ended up with the arrow buried in his flesh.

She always felt horribly guilty, but he brushed it off, assuring her that he endured worse. She believed him.

Watching him stand there among the trees, with a crossbow in his hand still made her feel out of place though.

'' Wait, wait! '' She cried, making him pause and lower the weapon.

'' What? ''

'' I'm tired. Let's leave this for tomorrow. ''

He raised both of his eyebrows at her, dropped the crossbow completely, then made his way over to her. There was something intense in his eyes; she felt naked before him.

'' Show me, '' he demanded all of sudden.

Confusion washed over Bonnie. '' What are you talking about? ''

'' The wound, '' Damon clarified. His tone softened. '' Did it bruise? ''

Damn it. Bonnie stared at him uncertainly, not sure how to answer. How did he know? How did he always know?

Because this was the truth. It wasn't only the guilt for constantly hurting him during practice that made her weary; it was the soreness in her body. After another unpleasant encounter with Kai, she couldn't be sure that all of her bones were whole.

'' I'm fine, '' she assured him. '' Just tired... can we go back to the house now? ''

Damon utterly ignored her - surprise, surprise - and his long fingers suddenly curled around her jacket. He took it off her abruptly, paying no attention to the scowl on her face or to the mad pounding of her heart; which, surely, he must have heard.

His eyes glued to the spot that hurt the most; the sensitive area of her flesh, beginning at her shoulder and ending at her left breast. She hit something when Kai pushed her and she knew that indeed, she was going to have a bruise.

A big one, for that matter.

Damon seemed very focused, concerned in a way.

'' Yup. This doesn't look too good... ''

He was gawking at her chest; the comment was a little mean in her opinion.

'' Should I be offended? ''

He looked up into her eyes and smiled nonchalantly, cocking his head to the side.

'' _Absolutely not_. In fact, I think I should take a proper look though, it might be more serious than it seems. ''

Bonnie rolled her eyes and slapped his hands away.

'' How about a massage, then? '' His voice lowered to a murmur. '' Did you ever hear the myths about what vampire saliva can - ''

Heat fired through her stomach - not for the first time in his presence - yet she suppressed it, ignored it, pretended it wasn't there. Pretended it wasn't about Damon.

She covered up with a jacket, shutting him up, though his eyes were loud and his mouth was still stretched in a warm, seductive smile.

The smile faded quickly, though.

She did not expect him to bite into his wrist and offer it her, or touch her hair when she finally put her mouth on the blood.

He did.

* * *

><p>It was raining. Damon had spent most of the day outside, while she read books in her bedroom; naturally, they weren't always together. But by the evening, he was back home, laying beside her on the floor, his face alight in the flickering shadows of the flames dancing in the chimney.<p>

They weren't too close, but close enough for their arms to touch. Tiredness was hanging in the air, along with a lot of unanswered questions. They still haven't figured out what to do to get out of here,_ if_ that was even possible.

An opinion of a crazy warlock didn't really matter much.

'' Who do you miss the most? '' Damon asked curiously.

Bonnie shrugged. '' I don't know. I miss all of them. '' There was a familiar stirring of sadness in her heart, a heavy weight on her chest. Usually, she was content with her fate, alive with hope, but there were moments where the darkness crept in, and she let herself mourn for the losses she suffered. '' Caroline, Elena... Stefan. Jeremy. I miss them all. ''

Damon turned his head towards her slowly. '' Oh. ''

She tore her gaze away from the ceiling and looked at him too, frowning lightly. His short reply carried a strange tone, like all the weight lingering on the question before vanished. '' Did... you think I would say Jeremy? ''

He frowned, too, then looked back to the ceiling and shrugged.

Bonnie grew quite curious herself; they have developed this little game of sin over the time, where they were definitely less than lovers but more than friends, yet neither seemed to want to admit or even accept it.

At least, she didn't. Or maybe, at the time, she just didn't see it.

She inched closer to him to gain his attention, pressing her shoulder slightly into his along the way. '' Who do _you_ miss the most? ''

Heaven knew why, but she was frightened of the answer. She saw him steal a glance at her, and once again, he shrugged, echoing her answer. '' I miss them all. ''

It seemed selfish, but a sense of relief flooded her for some reason. Damon shifted, turning to lay on his side; his eyes burned into hers, blue and wide.

'' Why? Did you think I'd say Katherine? Or Elena...? '' His voice had a light, teasing edge to it, but it was serious, just like his face expression. Bonnie felt a wave of tension flow through her, warming up her cheeks. She was puzzled. What the hell was going on? And why was he looking at her like that? There was something different about it, something she hasn't seen before.

Nonetheless, she found herself smiling at the ridiculousness. '' I don't know. ''

He had gone off to eat then, and she was almost sure that she fell asleep on the floor. But she woke up in her bed, still in her clothes, covered with a blanket, and a familiar smell of pancakes was floating in the air.

A day just like any other.

* * *

><p>'' For the love of God, '' Kai said impatiently. '' Bicker later. Do you want to get out of here or not? ''<p>

Bonnie didn't dare take her eyes off Damon. It was a heated war, and she refused to back down, just as he did.

''_ I_ do, '' she replied, though it sounded more like the answer was directed to Damon, not Kai. It sounded like an accusation. Damon narrowed his eyes at her, but didn't say anything else; he gave Kai a sharp look, then took a step back.

'' Okay, Bonnie, are you ready? ''

She nodded. What was yet another argument about? Kai said that Damon shouldn't interfere with his teaching methods and catch the arrow before it hits Bonnie, since she could not die in this place anyway.

Well, not permanently.

Then, when the young warlock put his hand around her waist to keep her steady, Damon stepped in, pushed him away, told him to keep his body to himself, and broke his arm.

It was needless to mention that Bonnie had not only been, again, completely _confused_ by his behavior, but also angry.

'' All right then. Take a deep breath... '' Kai instructed, soothingly almost. '' Focus. Find that one thing among all the others, like the sound of your heartbeat, or the smell of the forest. And focus on it. You have to remember that you're in control. As long as your thoughts are scattered all over the place, none of this will work. ''

'' If that arrow goes through her, you'll lose the arm, '' Damon promised, interrupting, looking simply bored.

And threatening.

An hour later, exhausted and covered in dirt, Bonnie shut the door to the bathroom and slid out of her clothes. She could hear Damon's footsteps spreading through the hallway, getting louder and closer. She didn't care. She didn't want to talk to him.

Relief was glowing inside her, along with a kind of joy, because she was _finally_ in control; it helped more somehow when the arrow was aimed at Damon. Perhaps because she was used to saving other people first. One way or another, when Kai had enough and threw the wooden weapon at him, Bonnie acted immediately; because this wasn't just a weak blow. He was using his powers, guiding the arrow towards Damon's heart. Probably to shut him up for more than five minutes.

'' Bonnie? '' Damon called through the door. Speak - or think - of the devil, and the devil shall appear.

She didn't react. Instead, she let the warm water run over her body, relax her.

It was quiet then.

When she stepped into her bedroom, she slipped into comfortable cotton, a black set of her usual lingerie and an over sized shirt. All she really wanted was to sleep. Forget.

But she didn't even manage to button up before the door opened, then closed, and Damon appeared behind her.

'' Look, I'm sorry, '' he began. '' Or... not. I just don't trust that nutjob. And- ''

He didn't finish the sentence; she didn't _care_. She was not intending to talk to him. Besides, she was practically half naked.

Though he couldn't see much, because she was facing the desk instead of him.

'' Bonnie. ''

The heat of his body burned as he pressed himself against her; she could feel the edge of the desk digging lightly into her bare thighs, Damon's jeans brushing her dark skin.

She lost her breath, as well as the capacity to speak, yet if she could, she wouldn't know what to say.

'' And... '' he whispered, perhaps intending to finish the sentence after all. '' I don't like him touching you. ''

The words sent her head spinning. He was too close to her, she couldn't think; she couldn't even breathe. Still, she managed to utter a question.

'' What is that supposed to mean? ''

A short moment of silence ensued. After that, Damon said, '' I don't know. ''

It sounded so breathy she had to squeeze her thighs; and this time no amount of denying would do. Her body was pulsing with pleasure and need, stomach on fire, heart like a drum, and it was all for him. Even though the way he pressed himself against her was very soft, chaste almost, leaning his hands on the desk right by hers, it was sinful all the same.

Bonnie didn't know whether to cry or feel relieved when he stepped away.

She had expected him to cut her off after opening up like that. Put some walls up.

He didn't.

* * *

><p>After the small, strange encounter in her bedroom, things got more than awkward. The air was thick was tension, and for the life of her, Bonnie couldn't figure out what changed, what shifted so drastically between them.<p>

Or why it hurt. Or why she couldn't stop thinking about him.

Well, it was difficult not to, since except for Kai and her, he was the only person in the whole bloody town. But now when she thought of him, it was different. Passionate, warm. Perhaps it has been for a long time, longer than it seemed, she just never admitted it to herself.

She still didn't want to.

Because there _was_ nothing, right?

She loved Jeremy. He broke her heart, but she loved him.

Right?

Right. She did.

She loved Jeremy, she loved Jeremy, she loved -

'' Damon! ''

Her heart nearly jumped out of her chest, the bottle of juice she held in her hand tightly fell onto the floor. Damon's breath was tickling her ear, his fingers still on her ribs.

'' Boo. ''

She could _hear_ him smirk. A giggle escaped her and she almost lost her balance as she bent over to pick the bottle up.

He quirked an brow, eyeing her up and down. '' You are sooo drunk, missus. ''

A small frown graced Bonnie's forehead. '' I'm not, '' she scoffed.

She might have stolen a little bit of his Bourbon. Just to numb her loud heart and restless mind. It didn't help much.

He smiled, and that smile was beautiful; she felt so adored by him when the corners of his mouth twitched upwards like that. She felt so adored by him every time he looked at her, actually. It changed.

She has noticed that before. But now, in the state of intoxication, she could see so much clearer, and the writing was in bold.

'' Okay, if you say so. ''

He grabbed his glass of whiskey from a shelf and sat down in the armchair by the fire, leaning his head back. She wanted to follow. So she did.

The mantra in her head wasn't helping; maybe because it wasn't true. She did love Jeremy, with all her heart. But she wasn't _in love_ with him.

Not anymore.

She slipped her dress off, then sat down on Damon's knees, in nothing but a pair of white boxers that he complained about losing, and a white bra to match the color. It seemed that he could do nothing but blink in response. Like he wasn't sure if he was having a hallucination.

He was dumbstruck, even as she put her arms around his neck, indicating that she _was_ real. And maybe Bonnie should have seen it as a sign to say something, or stop, but she didn't want to. She was overwhelmed with lust and tenderness, and for once she wanted to dive into it, because right now, there was no guilt or anger or worry. Just them.

But he pushed her face away from his, gently, when she leaned in to kiss him. He stopped breathing, his glass of Bourbon was long forgotten, smashed somewhere on the floor. His cheeks were aflame, his eyes twinkling with desire, yet he_ wouldn't let her kiss him_.

She suddenly felt very insecure, and he knew, because just as she made a move to slide off his lap, he placed his hands on her waist, holding her firmly in place.

'' Bonnie. ''

He was looking into her eyes, her name barely a husky whisper on his tongue. He seemed lost for words.

'' I don't... want you like this. ''

To her utter mortification, she started crying. Damon panicked, shaking his head back and forth, wiping the tears away. '' No, no, no, you misunderstood - I _want_ you, I do. So much. ''

She bit down on her lip, then leaned in again, but he shook his head.

'' Don't. You're drunk. I... I want you, I just... don't want you to do something you'll regret.''

He was a blurred picture because of the new tears pooling in her eyes, over and over. But from what she could make out, he looked positively tortured, trying hard to keep his gaze on her face, not anywhere else.

With a sigh, Bonnie snuggled into him.

'' God, '' he groaned. '' Please put on your clothes. There's only much I can take. ''

She didn't want to. She was far too enthralled, far too thrilled by the hard heat she could feel underneath her thighs, coming right from beneath his jeans.

'' I... '' she murmured, but then closed her mouth.

She would tell him some other time.

She didn't think she'd fall asleep, or that he'd be so decent in the morning, not even once mentioning the incident as she claimed not to remember anything. She was sure he would have teased her, in some way, at least about the amount of alcohol she has consumed.

He didn't.

* * *

><p>'' So... you don't remember anything from that night? ''<p>

Bonnie's hand stilled on the board. Damon noticed, yet didn't comment.

'' Why do you keep asking? ''

'' I'm a creature of curiosity. Check mate. ''

She sighed, then rested her back comfortably against the wall. Why was he being so good to her? His eyes were sad, though he masked it well; she probably wouldn't have noticed if she really didn't remember that night.

'' Curiosity killed the cat. ''

'' I'm quite used to dying. ''

A light smile appeared on her face. She was amazed by just how much admiration she held for him; it felt like her chest wanted to burst. She could somehow feel him inside her, in every one of her bones, on her skin. He was everywhere, a part of her heart.

And she found herself wanting to tell him just how much he meant to her, and that really, she remembered how she stripped for him two days ago. And she didn't regret it. But... she couldn't find her voice.

Then Kai burst inside, ruining the night.

Everything happened so fast, it was just a faded roll of images in Bonnie's memory. All she knew was that Kai was _very_ cross - being murdered twice in a row does that to people - and there was a knife in her stomach, sharp and cold, sipping on her strength.

She was fading into unconsciousness, fading quickly; she had blood on her hands, on her jeans, blood everywhere. She watched Damon sink his teeth into the young boy's neck, brutally, savagely - and that was the last thing she remembered.

A stream of warm water and gentle pats on the cheek woke her up. The first thing she saw was Damon's face, filled with bright relief.

She coughed, taking in her surroundings; they were in the bathroom. Under the shower, to be exact. Her teeth chattered loudly, because she was freezing, and the heat of the water coming down on her did nothing to soothe her; it was painful. Damon rubbed her arms softly, up and down.

'' That's the third time you killed him, '' Bonnie breathed out. '' I don't think it'll solve the problem. ''

Damon frowned. '' I don't care. He took you, stabbed you, then left you out in the cold. I couldn't find you for an hour. And when I did, do you know what color your lips were? _Blue_. Fucking _blue_. I'll kill him again when he gets up. Until he learns his lesson or just... disappears completely. ''

Bonnie shook her head weakly. '' Damon. ''

'' What? No one would miss him anyway. ''

She managed a laugh, but it sounded awkward because of the trembling of her jaw.

Damon's clothes always clung to him tightly, but now, as wet as he was, she could see the outlines of his body perfectly. She couldn't focus on it though, or on the gratefulness flowing through her system; she was so cold she wanted to cry. Not being able to stand the stinging of the water anymore, she stepped out from under the stream, putting her arms around herself.

'' You have to take your clothes off, '' Damon said uncertainly. '' Here, I'll leave, and you can - ''

'' No! Don't leave me. ''

Not only because she wasn't sure whether she could do this by herself. She just wanted him to stay, undressing involved or not.

Preferably, involved, but under different circumstances.

Surprise lit up his irises, but he recovered quickly, then pulled his shirt off to get more comfortable. Once again, Bonnie found it strange to realize how much she desired him. How different he was in her eyes. How different than before.

'' Okay, I know it hurts, but you have to get back under the water. I'll turn the temperature down a little. ''

Bonnie inhaled deeply. '' Okay. ''

Better to get this over with.

He turned to her, the tips of his fingers just kissing her hips, ghosting a path up to the hem of her shirt. She wanted to close her eyes, but that would have given her away. So she relaxed instead, letting him pull the shirt upwards and throw it somewhere on the floor, nearby his own.

'' I lied. ''

The words slipped out of her throat before she could stop them, but once they did, an overwhelming sense of relief hit her.

Damon looked at her in confusion, but didn't stop, working on unbuttoning her jeans as he spoke. His touch was fire.

'' About what? '' He asked softly, suddenly ripping the material in half. '' Sorry, it was easier and less painful to do it this way. You can rip my jeans, too. If that'll make you feel better. ''

She didn't care about the jeans. She let herself be led under the water again, inch by inch; the temperature was indeed much more bearable, pleasant. Her heart drummed away, her mind seethed, her lips trembled. But not due to the cold anymore.

How to tell him?

When she could see how uneasy he felt, in this small bathroom, trying not to look at her half naked body, trying not to touch her.

'' What did you lie about? '' He inquired, tilting her chin up so she could meet his gaze.

Bonnie swallowed, hard. She didn't want to make him angry, but... '' That night. I remember everything, and I'm so sorry for - '' The apology came out in a rush, but from the very depths of her soul. Damon paused it, shaking his head; his eyes grew wider, then closed, and he leaned in to kiss her. The pressure of his mouth on hers made her knees weak - and even through the kiss, he rubbed her arms, stroked her back, trying to not only warm her up, but also letting himself take what he wanted. Needed.

When his hand reached upwards to turn the temperature up, Bonnie's back ended up being pressed into the cold tiles of the wall, but that was okay. She was warm by then. Very warm.

And fulfilled. And happy. And wild. And safe. Was this what love felt like?

Was she in _love_? With Damon?

The kiss quickly turned into a make-out session, and even though the excitement flying in between them was too much to handle, it ended at that.

At first.

He carried her out of the bathroom ( with her legs wrapped around his waist, her mouth still fused with his ), then dried and brushed her hair.

Only when they were _both_ dry did he kiss her again, under the sheets of his king sized bed. His arms were strong, his taste intoxicating, his skin smooth; Bonnie wanted to kiss every inch of it, explore it.

And he let her, then doing the same. They turned and shifted under the quilt, and he made himself at home in between her legs, learning her off by heart. It was perfect.

The sounds he made, the looks on his face, his kisses, his hands, the feelings; perfect. She had only slept with one other person in her entire life - Jeremy - so she wasn't very experienced. Not at all, compared to Damon. Yet she knew that _this_ was right and this was _home_.

There was a time in the night when she had been laying on him, nuzzling his neck; they were still making love, and he placed both of his hands on her cheeks to pull her in for a kiss.

But he didn't kiss her. His mouth was wide opened, resting right next to hers, but not kissing. He was just breathing her in, for a minute or two, before he flipped them over ( again ) and rolled his hips, making her squeeze his shoulders.

And then he said it.

The entire world seemed to crumble and become something completely new in that moment.

'' I love you. ''

He breathed it against her chin, and she attacked his mouth; because she knew, she _knew_ that Damon's affection was the most precious thing in the world, worth protecting with all she possessed. And somewhere along the way, it became everything she wanted.

She hadn't excepted him to keep on repeating in throughout the night.

He did. It was music to the soul.

* * *

><p>The next morning she awoke to light kisses on her shoulder. Everything changed.<p>

She often wondered briefly what would happen when they got back to the world of the living, or if that was even possible. But as far as she was concerned, she was happy either way.

And now when he stole something from her, she had a different approach, different ways to make him surrender. The kind of wicked ways that made his eyes roll to the back of his head.

She used them often. This afternoon was no exception.

'' I wasn't finished with this, '' she protested as he snatched his whiskey from her. She had developed a taste for it, but only at times of deep distress. A few sips were enough to make her relax, though usually, it was Damon that did the job.

Still.

He sat down beside her and pulled her close, wagging his finger at her. '' Tsk, tsk. The next thing I know you're going to enjoy pancakes. ''

'' I already do. ''

He smiled, his teeth digging into his bottom lip; there was a change in the playful mood as she crawled upon him, bringing her own lips to his neck. Really, by then the bourbon was forgotten. Unimportant.

'' You're evil, '' he groaned, shoving the glass somewhere behind them. The sound of it breaking echoed throughout the room, unimportant and quickly forgotten as well. How they ended up against the wall, she had no idea.

Yes, it was _nothing_ that she expected; what they had was stable but wild, gentle but fierce. She never knew it was possible to feel so many things, or to be connected to someone so intimately. The life they once shared in Mystic Falls seemed like a distant dream.

Or a nightmare. Depending on one's point of view.

And there were many things that Damon surprised her with; like kissing her when she slapped him, sharing fond memories from his human life with her - as well as those dark ones. He was proud, stubborn, arrogant, fiery, just as she knew him, but there was a whole other side to him that she only got a glimpse of before. A side that he had shown her completely.

When Kai interrupted the spell, when Damon's eyes filled suddenly with realization as she smiled up at him from the cold ground, she knew he was going to be angry. And hurt.

The thought of possibly never getting out and seeing him again made it hard to breathe. But she was doing the right thing, because he deserved to live; he deserved to be with his friends and family, lead a normal life. There was no time for her.

So she smiled, even as he shouted at her.

And then he was gone.

She wasn't sure how long she had been stuck in the numbness; she sent all of her magic to him, so that Kai couldn't use it. The days after that passed agonizingly slowly, emptily. She was all alone among her books and sunlight, with no one to talk to, no one to hold her during the night. No one to make her angry. No one to console her. No one to make her _feel_. She knew the sensation of heartbreak, she knew it very well. But this time, it was different; this time, she was achingly in love with a man whom she probably would never see again, because she was dead.

But never once did she regret her decision. She simply accepted her fate, like she always did. It seemed ironic that suddenly Falls turned into hell just because Damon wasn't in it.

It used to be other way around.

When one morning she woke up next to him, she had thought she was dreaming. He was gaping at her like he'd seen a ghost, still, pale with weariness. It looked like he could use a blood bag or two.

But why was she in the Boarding House, in his bedroom? Why did this feel so real?

'' Oh my God, it worked! ''

_That_ voice made Bonnie jump. It was a tearful squeal coming from the doorway; something that she hadn't heard in what it seemed like eternity.

Caroline was the source of it, of course, standing rigid in the hallway; but it wasn't long before she went for it and jumped towards Bonnie, scooping her up in a bone-crushing hug.

Bonnie was scared. She was scared to death that this was just a dream, even though she could smell the blonde's strawberry shampoo, feel her around herself as they hugged. She wasn't able to take her eyes off Damon, nor could she stop the tears.

As soon as Caroline was out of the room, running to inform Elena, Stefan and the whole town of the news, Bonnie was on top of Damon, sitting in his lap, crushed against him. His smell, his eyes, his arms; it was a heady mixture. She found herself unable to be quiet. Questions were spilling out of her mouth in between the kisses, questions about how this was possible and whether this was real or not.

She repeated the latter pretty often, bursting into flames, clawing at his back frantically in fear something would drag him away from her at any moment.

Damon's answer to the first question was very vague. '' Magic. Got a little help, '' was all he said, breathlessly, before pushing her down onto the mattress. He was angry. He was happy. It was a frenzy.

He kept on muttering something in between each kiss heatedly, telling her that she was an idiot, then that he loved her, then that yes, this was real, and then he was crying. But he still wouldn't stop kissing her.

Bonnie thought that everything will slowly go back to normal. Gradually, step by step.

It didn't.

Damon left. Though he promised to be back, he _promised_ he would be, therefore, she waited. She wasn't handling the distance and the lack of contact very well, but she waited, because she preferred that than losing him and never seeing him again at all.

There were so many things she wanted to tell him. So many letters she wrote but never sent. How did they end up this way? The story replayed in her head, like a movie. She still couldn't find an answer.

All those times she had wanted to kill him. And she could have.

Yet she didn't.

All those times he had hurt her. Repeatedly. Again and again. How she had wanted to drive him out of town.

Yet she didn't.

All those times she had hurt him; how he was the last person she expected to show up when she needed to be saved.

He wasn't.

Being sure that she would have to get out of the island by herself, because everyone else left.

She didn't.

Being sure she would bleed to death when Esther had forced her to feed Alaric.

She didn't.

She thought that she'd get the chance to make up for the lost time, get the chance to hold him, keep him - start a life with him - the day he'd walk in through the doorstep of her new house.

She didn't.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: So, this picks up where we left off in chapter one. It's a little different; we see things from Stefan's point of view.**

**Again, thank you so much for the favorites, follows, and the beautiful reviews... Seriously. You guys are amazing.**

**Merry Christmas!**

* * *

><p>'' I know you're in here. ''<p>

A heavy sigh filled the room. '' What am I going to do with you, Stefan? You just can't seem to take a hint. ''

Slowly, Damon's figure emerged from behind the door. He stepped into the living room gracefully, wearing a truly curious expression on his face. As if Stefan's persistence fascinated him.

'' I suppose I shouldn't be surprised you followed me here. I really need to find a witch to perform a cloaking spell for me, don't I? ''

The younger Salvatore made no comment; he stood by the chimney motionlessly, his brows pulled together in wonder, in confusion. In _irritation_. He was not interested in having a conversation about such trivial matters.

Right after Damon attacked Elena, he followed him indeed. Wary, alarmed, unable to put the pieces together. It took a while to track him down, but finally, here they were.

All he knew was that his brother had been trying to get a hold of a traveler's knife; he was asking about the one they used to kill Katherine once or twice over the phone... on the rare occasions that he called.

Now, at least Stefan found a reason why.

Not very comforting, though, was it?

He had a passenger inside him. And the said passenger obviously wasn't too happy with the scheming going on behind his back, so he decided to show it by throwing himself at Elena. When Stefan burst into the room, when he pushed him off her, he knew that something was terribly wrong. Not only because of the sudden assault, but also because of the look in Damon's eyes. The animosity. The foreignness. Like they didn't know each other.

The smirk wasn't his own, either. For a brief second, Stefan considered the humanity switch - sifting through the latest events of their life, he searched, unsure what could have brought this on - but the assumptions exploded abruptly after Damon drove a piece of wood through his stomach. In response to the rough questions thrown at him by a terrified Elena ( '' Damon, what is _wrong_ with you! '' ) he leaned in, and whispered into Stefan's ear.

'' _It's Alexander._ ''

Then he disappeared.

So many things suddenly made sense; like why Damon visited not more than once a year, why he sounded so strange on the phone...

No, actually, none of this made sense.

Nonetheless. Stefan could feel guilt shooting through him, breaking through his skin, like a bullet. He wanted to put his head down in his hands and drink. He should have known. He should have checked on Damon.

He should have been there.

But right _now_, there was no time for regrets; he forced himself to stay calm. Face to face with a devil, he had to keep his focus, he had to remember to keep going with the game, no matter what the circumstances, no matter what the rules. The price was his brother's life.

After all, miss Katherine was the one who showed him how to break the rules, how to destroy them and how to make them. If he had anything to thank her for, it was definitely this; the recklessness of her dark mind, the wildness, the labyrinth inside it. She had let him into it. He learned a thing or two.

Alexander's fingertips danced across the surface of the table, tapping it lightly. '' I know you have a lot of questions. Ask away. ''

Hell yes, Stefan had a _ thousand_ questions for him. '' What do you want with my brother? '' He inquired coldly.

The stranger shrugged. '' I want him to be my host. Isn't that obvious? ''

'' Why him? ''

The blue eyes, once familiar, now void, narrowed dangerously. '' Why not? All he's ever done was bring misery upon every person he crossed paths with. Upon you. Your friends. Your family, '' he said, raising an eyebrow. '' Perhaps this is what they call karma. Perhaps this was what all his victims had felt when he slowly took their life... _helplessness._ ''

Did this guy belong to the Justice League? Stefan didn't think so. He wanted to ask anyway, he wanted a deeper insight into his mind. Because now he stood at the entry, but there was no light anywhere around him. He was like a blind man, left to cope on his own in an endless garden of traps.

'' A lot of vampires had left misery in their wake, '' he stated suspiciously. '' Why him? Why not me? I destroyed village after village in the beginning of my days. ''

Alexander tilted his head, amused.

'' Is that so? Would you really sacrifice your life, your happiness, just to set your brother free? ''

A heavy stone settled over Stefan's heart. He loved Damon.

History aside, they were family; he had already lost him once and didn't handle that very well.

'' Yes, '' he answered honestly.

Alexander nodded. '' Oh, I know you would. '' Throwing himself on the couch, he sighed again. '' But, unfortunately, I can't do anything for you. Damon isn't a prisoner. He chose his own path. He knew what he was signing up for, as well as that stepping out of line will get him punished. ''

Stefan felt even more mystified than before. Angrier, though he had thought that he reached a point way beyond anger, something closer to brokenness, when the truth unraveled before his eyes. '' What are you talking about? ''

'' Long story short. He wanted help saving the witch. I needed a new body. We made a small exchange. ''

Things clicked into place at once, making everything else around crumble. That was something that Stefan _hadn't_ seen coming, and more questions were born in his mind, swirling through it. He never knew that Damon and Bonnie had bonded so deeply on the other side.

He had no idea.

He could feel the shock settling on his face, parting his mouth slightly, opening up new possibilities in his busy head. Letting new realizations sink in.

Alexander lifted himself up a little, leaning on his elbow. '' Oh. You didn't even _suspect_ this had anything to do with Bonnie, did you? '' He sounded delighted in a twisted way. A lazy smile stretched his lips, and he closed his eyes, letting his fall head back.

He couldn't have looked more relaxed. Stefan wanted to hurt him.

Badly.

'' Hm, '' the passenger continued, opening his eyes after a moment. '' It may come off as an even bigger surprise then, when I'll let you in on their dirty little secret. Have you been aware of all the nights they have spent together in bed? ''

The ground shifted beneath Stefan's feet.

None of this ever occurred to him. But... surely Damon couldn't be in love with Bonnie...

Leaning his head on his hands, Alexander splayed out on the couch comfortably. '' Well, not only in bed. Sometimes on the floor. And in the bathroom. After they came back, too. I let him visit her every now and then, you see. Three times a year! I'm not heartless. ''

Stefan didn't want to hear it. He didn't know what to think.

Surely Bonnie couldn't be in love with Damon...?

Oh, God.

Had Damon _compelled_ her? Never once did she mention his brother, or even seemed worried or heartbroken.

This time the ire in him burst, spreading through him hotly. '' Let him go. ''

'' Why? '' Alexander asked curiously. '' Are you willing to make a deal? No, no, no, dear _brother_. Sorry. I already got what I wanted. And I promised Damon that I would stay away from you and the little witch, and that you all shall remain unharmed. A deal is a deal... even with me. But I may just have to reconsider it if you don't leave. ''

'' Don't try threatening me, '' Stefan said menacingly. '' This is your last chance. Give me my brother back, or I'm going to kill you. ''

Alexander's jaw locked tightly. '' _Try_, '' he dared. '' I will drive a stake through his pathetic, black heart faster than you could blink. Because, for my own safety, I _am_ willing to sacrifice my fun and jump into a new body. I think I made that clear. Isn't that the only reason you haven't attacked me yet? ''

He stood up and moved towards Stefan, almost pressing his nose into his with the next whisper. '' Come on. _Try me_. ''

Stefan remained frozen on the spot, the tension and worry locking him up in an armor of stone. His heart bled for Bonnie. His heart bled for Damon. His heart bled for himself.

'' Come on, '' Alexander urged hotly. '' Don't you want to? Damon would be disappointed in your passive demeanor. I can hear him sometimes, you know? I could hear him when I bit Elena. I could hear him when I went to Bonnie before that. I don't think he likes me being around the witch very much. Or... any of you, for that matter. ''

Clenching his fists tightly, Stefan attempted to breathe. In. And out. In... and out.

'' Mmm... '' The man continued, sensually, mockingly, licking his lips. '' I bit her, too. I erased her memory after, but, all the same. She tasted_ delicious_. And you know what the best part was? All it took was a little of her pain, my hand up her thigh, and Damon was crying. I think that was why he decided to stop seeing her at all. I think that I taught him a lesson. Do you agree? You never know how it - ''

Growling loudly, Stefan pushed him into the wall, keeping a small portion of his shirt in one hand, while the other was still clenched in a fist. It collided with Alexander's cheek, once, twice, three times. Even though soon his nose and mouth was bleeding, he was just smirking.

And he kept on doing so while he wiped the blood of his skin. That smirk was red as roses, psychotic, like a sea of rearranged stars written in codes - impossible to decipher.

Stefan placed both of his hands on the man's head and snapped his neck. To hell with being careful now that they were this close to each other, now that he had the bastard at the palm of his hand.

He was not going to live by threats. He was not going to let the people he loved breathe in pain and fear. Not now, not ever.

When Damon's body fell lifelessly to the ground, Stefan took a minute to sit down and think. To inhale and exhale. A certain memory flashed before his eyes; that day him and Elena visited Bonnie, two months ago...

_'' Hey, who are these from? ''_

_Bonnie frowned, cocking her head to the side. She picked up one of the roses and examined it closely... then shrugged._

_Elena grinned at her. '' A secret admirer? ''_

_Bonnie rolled her eyes warmly, then set the flower back into the vase. '' They're from no one. I bought them for myself. ''_

_Laughing, Elena turned away from the shelf and focused on the one below instead, picking up a stack of cd's curiously. Her eyebrows shot up. '' Whoa, your taste in music changed drastically. Strange... '' she murmured. '' Aren't these Damon's favorites? ''_

_'' They are, definitely, '' Stefan confirmed, looking over Elena's shoulder with a small smile. But the smile was short lived. Something flickered across Bonnie's expression; she looked so lost, baffled, frowning again, almost sadly. _

_'' I don't know, '' she answered softly, taking a breath and pursing her lips. '' I don't think so. I can't remember him ever listening to that. ''_

The strange moment quickly passed, and the merciless teasing begun. Bonnie reminded Elena how obsessed she used to be with her favorite band, while Elena defended herself, pointing out that Caroline had been crazy twice as much. Then, as women would do, they joined forces, rounded up on Stefan and poked him in the ribs, reminding him of how _he_ on the other hand, used to listen to Miley Cyrus.

They had stayed with Bonnie for a week back then; and every night before going to bed, she played those cd's.

_'' Ugh, seriously? '' Elena mumbled one evening, lifting her head from the floor. _

_'' Sorry, I can't fall asleep without the music, '' Bonnie said quietly. '' Maybe it's just the house... It's too big and empty. I should have rented something smaller. ''_

_'' She has a point, '' Stefan said, pulling Elena back into his arms. '' You know, you both have been through too much, and you have seen too many homicidal killing sprees. I'd probably never sleep here alone if I was you. ''_

_'' Yeah, I'm sure Miley's voice would guard you like an angel, '' Elena joked, yawning. '' It'd scare anyone away. Even Klaus. ''_

_Bonnie's laughter echoed through the room. _

_Stefan groaned. '' Never telling you anything again. ''_

Now that he knew the truth, the situation looked completely different from his point of view. Bonnie was somehow holding on to Damon, though she wasn't aware of it.

Just like Jeremy held onto Vicky after her death.

_' Look, I know you think you took it away, but it's still there. Even if I don't remember why... I still feel empty. Alone. '_

He needed to get to Bonnie as quickly as possible. First, though, he had to lock up Alexander... but where?

A sudden whooshing sound hit his ears; the floorboard creaked, and he knew that someone was there. He braced himself for the possible attack of the uninvited guest, but before he knew it, a pair of cold hands locked on his head and abruptly snapped it to the side.

Darkness greeted him. The last thing he saw was his brother's pale flesh.

* * *

><p>He should have seen the signs; it was all too easy. Finding Alexander, snapping his neck. Too simple.<p>

Devil only knew who was helping him, or what his next move was going to be. So when Stefan's eyes opened, his first thought was that of Elena and Bonnie. The dull ache in his neck increased when he shot up to a sitting position, but it didn't slow him down. He fished his phone out of his pocket and quickly dialed his girlfriend's number, panic pounding in his chest, palms sweating.

It was a relief to hear her voice. '' Stefan, are you okay? '' She asked abruptly. '' I tried calling you, so did Caroline... What happened? ''

Stefan closed his eyes, feeling more relief swim through him. '' I'm fine. The important question is, are _ you_ okay? ''

'' I'm all right... but - ''

'' Okay, listen. Pack a few things and get ready, we have to get to Bonnie. ''

'' What? Why? ''

'' And take Jeremy with you. And maybe Caroline. We shouldn't separate, just in case. ''

'' But why? What's going on? '' There was an urgency to Elena's voice now, a piercing anxiety. '' Is Bonnie hurt? ''

'' I promise I'll explain everything on the way, '' Stefan said hurriedly. '' I have to go now. I'll meet you at the Boarding House in a few. ''

'' Okay, '' Elena agreed uncertainly. He could just picture her biting on her lip with worry. '' I love you. ''

'' I love you, too, '' he whispered.

So, Elena and the rest were fine. That meant that the possibility of Bonnie being hurt burned brighter. He dialed her number and listened to the signal, getting to his feet again, running out the door of the empty house. It was getting dark outside; twilight settled in, the breeze was cold, the moon alive. He could see it shining behind the grey clouds, ready to come out and cast its light all over the pavements and lanes.

Bonnie didn't answer her phone. This complicated everything, doubled the unease, deepened the creases in his forehead. When he got to the Boarding House, the whole crew was ready and waiting, the car purring with life.

It was time to go.

Swiftly gathering his things, Stefan analysed the situation over again. He went back to one more moment in time; to the moment when Damon came back. Without Bonnie.

He overheard him leaving her a message on the phone that night... even though she was not able to receive it. Damon didn't seem to care. He talked to her like that more than once. Stefan never heard about what exactly; he felt it was a private moment for Damon, a private grief, so he never stepped in.

Now, that looked entirely different in his eyes, too. Damon had fallen in love. Mutually.

He had searched for someone like Bonnie all his life, only to have her taken away from him in a matter of seconds. Wasn't life cruel? One mistake led to an apocalypse, one missing detail changed everything.

Stefan understood now what Damon had meant at the time, drinking by the fire, when he said that Bonnie wasn't dead.

It wasn't denial or hope. It was a fact. Death didn't choke Bonnie in its grasp; it choked everyone around her. It choked Damon, who was left alone, wondering what to do and how to live his life without her; trying to remember how he did it before, and finding, disappointingly, that he didn't want to go back to that broken road. He probably couldn't even remember the way.

What a mess had life become.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hello everyone *-* Here's another chapter. The next one will probably be the last one, although, I'm not sure.**

**I know I've said it before, but I will say it again. Thank you _so much_ for your wonderful reviews, they are literally killing me... in the best ways.**

**There's this little scene at the end with Damon and Bonnie; a song inspired it. And If My Heart Should Somehow Stop, by James Vincent McMorrow. Try playing it while you're reading that scene, maybe you'll imagine/ feel it like I do, or maybe even better? Maybe worse? I guess that depends on you.**

**Have a great weekend. :)**

* * *

><p>A stunned silence hung in the air as the car moved forward. Stefan had told the crew the entire story; or at least, the bits and pieces that he managed to put together so far. Elena's jaw dropped, Jeremy looked positively beaten down, and Caroline was batting her lashes at the front window in Olympic speed, attempting to process the information.<p>

It was her voice, naturally, that cut through the silence.

'' Well, '' she inquired awkwardly, '' why did you take us all with you? Shouldn't somebody have stayed with Rick in Falls, just in case? ''

'' I don't know what Alexander has planned, '' Stefan replied. '' Rick is an original, he can take care of himself. I couldn't leave anyone else behind. We have to be careful. There's safety in numbers. ''

'' What about massacres and mass murders? ''

Elena shook her head, sighing. '' Caroline, please. ''

The blonde threw her hands up in the air helplessly. '' _Sorry_! I'm just trying to get over the fact that my best friend's sociopath of a brother had fallen in love with my other best friend, then apparently reached his redemption and got possessed by a crazy traveler. ''

Really, they all were trying.

* * *

><p>Hours later, as Caroline and Jeremy started cooking ' something ', Stefan and Elena pulled a dazed Bonnie upstairs to her bedroom.<p>

At first when she saw them all at her door, she was overjoyed. She even considered this unexpected visit to be an early birthday surprise. But nobody's smile was real, nobody held a cake. On the contrary. It was like they have attended a funeral, not even simply dropped by for a visit.

Instantly, she felt fear creeping inside her.

Stefan shut the door quietly, Elena leaned her back against the blue wall and Bonnie sat down on the edge of her desk, her eyebrows pulling together in concern.

'' What's going on? ''

'' We need to talk to you, '' Elena began quietly.

'' I figured that much. Is something wrong? ''

The Gilbert beauty exchanged a look with her boyfriend, then they both focused on her again. Stefan crossed his arms and pursed his lips, obviously unsure about how to begin. He was practically reeking of anxiety, infecting Bonnie with it swiftly.

'' Listen, Bonnie. I know it's not really any of my business, but I would like to know what... what happened between you and Damon on the other side. Or, whatever that place was. You became friends, right? ''

Bonnie cocked her head to the side, suddenly brooding. Some of the tension she felt dropped off her shoulders; it was a normal question, definitely not a howling alarm indicating trouble. Yet why did she feel so sad?

Smiling lightly, she nodded. '' Yeah, I guess. Something like that anyway. You know Damon. ''

'' Right. But nothing more? ''

'' Sorry? ''

'' You were just friends. Nothing more. Yes? ''

Bonnie frowned, clearly taken aback by the question; even slightly amused. '' Of course. Where is all that coming from? ''

Stefan and Elena exchanged a look again - the witch couldn't quite put a name on it - before Elena finally took the lead, leaning over slightly towards her friend.

'' Does he ever visit you? ''

Bonnie shrugged. '' No. He calls from time to time... What's up with all these questions? Is he okay? ''

Like the sky had cleared, she saw it all better as soon as she asked. Stefan's eyes were compassionate, tortured, Elena's sorrowful.

Something had happened.

'' That's the thing... he's sort of in trouble. We think you might be able to help us. But first we have to... well... ''

'' We think he compelled you, '' Elena threw in.

Surprise hit Bonnie like snow, freezing her on the spot. '' Compelled me? '' Suspicious and suddenly aware of how much trouble he could really be in, she crossed her arms. '' What's really going on? ''

'' Look, Bonnie, I know this is going to sound crazy, but I think there was more. More to this story. More to you and Damon. He compelled you to forget about it so you wouldn't look for him, or suffer, because... bringing you back... well, it was difficult... ''

'' What are you saying? '' Bonnie demanded, narrowing her abruptly tearful eyes.

'' He looked for help. He got it. From... a traveler. '' Stefan's voice was hesitant. '' Everything has its price... ''

'' What are you_ saying_ to me? '' She snapped impatiently, desperately, clenching her hands into fists at her sides.

It looked like she wouldn't believe until he spelled it out for her. He had no choice but to do so.

'' You know what I'm saying. We need a knife, but I don't know where to look. ''

The surprise she felt earlier was nothing compared to the sudden shock; it was such a strange reaction, but the information called to her body, pushing her into numbness. The entire story sounded _crazy _indeed, but her reaction betrayed her.

Still. The thought of her and Damon together was... odd. _Impossible_ in so many ways.

They did almost murder each other once or twice.

'' That's... no. He wouldn't... I mean... I wouldn't... _No_. '' The denial came out messily, like something was choking her, blocking her air. Elena took a few steps towards her and put an arm around her, the pity somehow making it final.

'' We'll find him. We just need your help. We need you to remember something. Anything. ''

'' How - _how_ am I supposed to do that? '' The question came out louder than she probably meant it to; almost a shout from the bottom of her tired lungs.

'' I took care of it, '' Caroline said, kicking the door open. There was a few crumpled sheets of paper in her hands.

'' You were right. I found these with Jeremy in the attic. ''

Bonnie stared up at the blurry picture of the blonde with disbelief. '' You went through my stuff? ''

'' Sorry, it was necessary. But look, '' she insisted, sticking the sheets into the trio's noses. '' These are letters. From Bonnie to Damon. Since she wrote them but they're still here, Damon didn't know about them. I mean, otherwise he would have removed all the evidence and burned them, right? ''

'' That sounds too much like a murder investigation for my liking, '' Elena said, closing her eyes in tiredness.

Bonnie accepted the letters into her hand, uncertain how she felt about everyone reading them - or even if she wanted to read them herself. She figured that she had no choice, however. Damon was her friend, even if not a lover.

She was unaware of everyone's eyes on her until Stefan finally spoke.

'' We'll... give you some privacy. ''

With that, they all left, quietly. Bonnie put the letters down onto the mattress and stared at them, not bothering to brighten up the dim light of her bedroom. She stared at them for a long time. Reading them would be like entering a completely different universe, a place she was too frightened to explore. But the thought of what Damon went through to save her was like another heart - perhaps his own - pounding in her head, pulsing hotly with the blood of their apparent relationship.

So she reached for the first letter. Cautiously, as though it could burn her.

It probably could.

The sheets weren't exactly placed in order, Caroline hadn't bothered with that after going through them.

Bonnie took a deep breath, exploring possibilities. What if? But what if not? She didn't want to believe it. Especially since it led to an ending where they were separated and Damon was punished for bringing her back.

'' God, please, '' she whispered to the nothingness around her, unsure of what she was asking for. Perhaps mercy.

It was surreal, like a nightmare within a nightmare.

But on the first, ivory page resting in between her fingertips, the words were written in a curved, elegant script - undeniably, her own. The first sentence caught her eyes and burned into her mind before she had a chance to reconsider.

_' I miss you. '_

* * *

><p>'' I think I know what we need to do. ''<p>

Caroline's head snapped up. '' What? ''

All other eyes turned to Stefan as well, yet his were only for Caroline in that moment.

'' Klaus. ''

One simple word, one simple name, yet it made her drop the spoon she had been using to stir her tea for the last twenty minutes.

'' Oh my God, no. You've got to be _kidding_ me. ''

'' Caroline, we need a knife. We don't even know where to start looking. We got the previous one by luck, another traveler brought it to us. That's not the case this time. Klaus knows everything and everybody. And he can be very... persuasive. ''

'' And what you just said about him is called purple prose. Honestly? Not a fan of it. ''

'' Caroline! '' Elena rebuked.

The blonde put her head down on the table with a defeated sigh.

'' Fine, fine! Too be honest, I was thinking about it too... ''

She lifted her head then, still leaning her chin on the wooden surface.

'' But why me? Can't you call him yourself? Weren't you his buddy or something a few decades ago? ''

'' Caroline! ''

'' Fine! God. ''

Fishing a pink mobile out of the pocket of her jeans, she quickly went through the numbers in her contacts. Stefan was right, after all; what they needed was the help of an original, someone as powerful and frightening as Klaus.

Never before had she been so grateful for his weakness and sentiments towards her.

She stepped out onto the porch, rubbing one arm with her free hand. It was much colder here than in Mystic Falls; maybe because of the snow. It looked beautiful, though.

Listening to the signal, she wondered briefly what to say. How to begin. Butterflies assaulted her stomach as she stared into the darkening sky, thinking...

_Hey, Klaus. I know we haven't talked since that naked hike in the woods when I made you promise not to come back and court me ever, but I need your help. Care to be my partner in crime? Perform an exorcism? You know, since Sam and Dean aren't around?_

Nope. He wouldn't understand the fantasy world of a teenage girl.

As the signal died, she held her breath. There was a short pause, and then that familiar, educated voice filled her ears.

'' Miss Forbes? '' The name sounded dubious on his tongue.

Startled, but somehow relived, Caroline replied with just as much as doubt. '' Elijah? ''

'' Well, this certainly is a pleasant _surprise_. ''

'' Yeah... '' Confused, she shook her head, trying to keep her focus. '' Where is Klaus? ''

'' Forgive me, but I believe my brother is a little... occupied at the moment. I'm sure he'd be thrilled to know you called, regretful he couldn't answer for himself... Is there anything I can do for you at the moment? A message I could deliver? ''

Screw her luck. Caroline sighed, determination building up in her chest, despite the drumming nervousness deep inside it. '' Yes. Yes, there is. Tell him to call me back as soon as possible. I need to talk to him. ''

'' Of course. ''

'' Thank you. ''

Relief flooded through her again, a cool, breezy wave. One step closer to the end. But the end of what?

* * *

><p>With an irritated sigh, Rebekah glared at the man sitting by the fire.<p>

'' Easy there, kitten, I can feel you staring. It's creepy, '' he said, not bothering to look up from the book he was reading.

At Rebekah's silence, he just turned the page. '' Oh, quit pouting. ''

His blue eyes flew up to hers at last. '' That was quite a performance you did today. ''

The sentence sounded like a true compliment in his mouth, red silk and soft pride; it was enough to make her angry. Her hair was a mess, her clothes dirty, her hands and legs sore from remaining in one position for that long.

And the ropes were dipped in bloody vervain. The bastard.

'' I'm glad you find me useful, '' she said sarcastically. '' You do realize that sooner or later my brother's going to come here and kill you, right? With or without them asking for his help. ''

The man smiled, closing the novel and setting it down beside him. '' Well, that's exactly what I'm hoping for. ''

Getting to his feet, he walked towards her, his steps slow and predatory, jeans low on his hips. He bent down slightly to be at the same level with her, sneaking his finger under her chin.

'' That's exactly why I'm keeping you here, sweetheart, '' he whispered.

Capturing Rebekah was easier than it should have been. All it took was a little alcohol, a small compliment, and she was all his (_ again_, from what he gathered, since she had slept with Damon before ).

She was the one to snap Stefan's neck and help him out. Of course she was. She had no other choice. Alex was, after all, a warlock in a way. He knew a little this and that about dark objects; like the watch that witch Davina had used to control Mikael.

He was also a fantastic thief.

Rebekah turned her face away from him sharply with confusion. Amused, he licked his mouth.

'' Don't worry, I'll feed you soon. ''

He straightened his back and already took a few steps back to the fireplace when she stopped him.

'' How do you know so much about everything? '' She inquired in a whisper, narrowing her eyes at him. Alexander smiled again, as though flattered, shrugging lightly.

'' Years and years of practice and planning. I'm a bit like your brother, you see. I learn from my mistakes. Now be quiet, because the sound of your voice is starting to annoy the hell out of me. ''

'' I'm gonna get out of here. And I'm gonna rip your heart out. ''

'' You can't, someone else did that before you. Why do you think I'm in a different body? Shut it, sweetheart. ''

When realization hit her, satisfaction struck her face, growing a mean smile on her lips. '' It's not only me, is it? You can hear Damon._ That's_ annoying you. ''

It was Alexander's turn to glare then.

'' A memory or two. A thought or two. Again, that's why you're here. ''

Rebekah's smile widened, morphing into a more cynical one, a dark promise. '' You are so dead. ''

'' We'll see about that. ''

Slamming the door behind him, he left her completely alone - as she had been most of the time - then made his way over to his small bedroom, pressing his fingertips into his temples, as if the action would take the frustrating sounds and pictures away. Damon's mind was giving him a headache; he had seen way too much. Like the Salvatore boy had entirely stopped struggling and left himself opened up, giving him insight into whatever he wanted.

The thing was that he already had the information he wanted. This crap with him and Bonnie Bennett was starting to get irritating. But it was only temporary, he reminded himself, taking a breath to inhale some fresh air flowing in through the opened window.

The torture continued anyhow.

_'' What's wrong? '' Damon mumbled sleepily._

_'' I'm cold. ''_

_'' Okay, hold on. ''_

_Just as soon as he made a move to get out of bed, she tightened her grip on him._

_'' No, don't leave me. ''_

_Turning to face her, Damon frowned lightly, his eyes tender on her hazel ones. '' I'll just get you another blanket... ''_

_Bonnie shook her head. '' Stay with me. ''_

_Her small hand was holding onto his, her cheek pressed into his chest. He tightened his arms around her._

_'' I'll always stay with you, '' he murmured. '' Even if you try to fry my brain. Again. ''_

_She gave a little laugh, then snuggled into him comfortably, pressing herself even closer to his warm body._

_'' Better? ''_

_'' Perfect. ''_

_He leaned his chin on the top of her head, closing his eyes. '' Yeah. It is. ''_


End file.
